Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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