you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
