who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
