I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
