Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
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