matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
We had to coat check the pizza.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
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