just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Can I color on your dick again?
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
