i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
