Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
