that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize
