I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
