alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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