Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Randomize
