I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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