I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
