1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
