just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Randomize
