Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
