I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize