I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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