think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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