escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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