Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
