Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
