i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
