Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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