im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
im about as happy as oj after his trial
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I just found puke in my bra..
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
