Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
