You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
