Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize