I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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