I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Randomize
