"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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