this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
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