So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
