it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
