fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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