It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Randomize
