idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
