u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize