Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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