He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
