someone get that fucking seahorse.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
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