in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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