But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Randomize
