I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
