Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
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