Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
this just has baby written all over it
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
