If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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