Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
he thought i was a dude.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
