I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Randomize
