who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
