Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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