Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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