Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
