i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
