It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Can you bring me the toilet please
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
