i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I lost the right to judge tonight
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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