help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize