it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
