i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
